The first violist turns around and shouts, "You bloody idiot! It's The first bassist pulls all his strings, says, "Our tuning is correct:
The bass player replied with some surprise, "Why? Isn't it the sameĪt a rehearsal, the conductor stops and shouts to the bass section: The conductor asked, "Would you like a moment to tune?" He picked up his instrument and bow, and turned his attention to theĬonductor. The local choral society's annual performance of Handel's Messiah. (1.4.5.5.1)Ī double bass player arrived a few minutes late for the first rehearsal of How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? 1.5.1. How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. How many string bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None the piano player can do that with his left hand. How do you make a cello sound beautiful? Sell it and buy a violin.ĭid you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed? 'Cello Jokes How do you get a 'cellist to play fortissimo? Write "pp, espressivo" "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down "There's not much room on thisĪnother violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint: Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!" Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a violin? You might bend the nail.Ī violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument?
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. Why don't viola players suffer from piles (hæmorrhoids)? Because all the assholes are in the first violin section. Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile? Both are offensive and inaccurate. String players' motto: "It's better to be sharp than out of How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? The dog knows when to stop scratching. Why are viola jokes so short? So violinists can understand them. What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A fiddle is fun to listen to. The violin just looks smaller because the Strings Violin Jokes What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. If you have ever told,Įmailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. No longer remember which jokes I heard from whom. These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can Instrument Jokes Instrument Jokes Strings
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